Proofreading Headlines is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Although the news and tragic events is not something to be considered funny,
the errors made in the writing can lighten the negative.

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Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one was caught in the SGV Tribune not long ago
and the Editorial Room was called and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!
They put in a correction the next day.

*******************************************
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?
*******************************************
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
*******************************************
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
*******************************************
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing, lazy so-and-so's!
*******************************************
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
*******************************************
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
this is a real DUH!
*******************************************
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
*******************************************
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
*******************************************
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
*******************************************
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
*******************************************
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
*******************************************
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
*******************************************
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
*******************************************
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
*******************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
*******************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Huh?

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And the winner is unconfirmed as a true story, but still funny...


The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race
and it won again.

The local paper read: 
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, Posted the following headline:
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY???

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.

So, be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.

More Headlines - HUH??

More Simple Fun-Silly ways to chuckle

 

 

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